You might feel a lot of tension and even having burnout symptoms. I am by no means a doctor or expert but I had the privilege of having issues to the point the days were all dark and I was in need for some serious help. Eventually I got very good help from a specialized burnout coach. At this point I am still recovering but I think sharing this might benefit a lot of people, so this is for you.
I had to deal with tension problems and eventually a severe burnout during the span of two and half years. Things started when I graduated. I directly got a full time IT job at the local government and I still had two side jobs that started during my study. One involved working for a company where I had the freedom to choose my own hours and was able to work remotely. The other side job was having my own small business creating websites and small web-applications.
A few months after I graduated me and my girlfriend (now wife) bought a house which needed a lot of TLC. I figured it was smart to keep all the jobs to make it more easy to pay for all bills and still save money for later. Doing work on a house and doing all the jobs correctly was challenging but possible due to the structure I had in my days and taking enough time for myself working out and eating right. I got a little lucky with my full time job being pretty easy on the start but then things started to change.
I started being involved in other projects on my full time job. My manager said I was doing a good job and that motivated me to do even more. Then my company decided to outsource the IT. I had to work somewhere else and I was one of the team members that led the technical migration of the IT environment. At one time I had 3 roles in my full time job instead of the one role I applied for in first instance. I felt responsible so I knew most details and worked long days to make sure the outsourcing of our IT environment went well – still combining this with the work on my house and the side jobs. This was not sustainable.
Don’t ask too much of yourself
“No man ever got burned out by doing too much, the man just did not rest enough”. Your body can handle a lot. You might push real hard at the gym or study long hours, you won’t get burned out by just doing that. However, you will get burned out from not taking enough rest to recover. Recovery is key. When you ask a lot from yourself you might forget to relax and rest. If you go to bed too late or do not take any real breaks you might not feel any difference in the first place but sooner or later it will catch up on you. Taking breaks is key. When you are burned out it might be hard to switch from “full time ON” to making sure you have breaks but here are some take-ways:
- Being on your phone or watching TV won’t give you the rest you deserve. Your brain will be busy. When you are really tired it is good to take a nap. Even 30 minutes to one hour will make a great difference. You will feel better after.
- Taking a walk outside. Moving your body makes sure the level of your “happy hormones” will balance out. Helping promote happiness and pleasure while reducing depression and anxiety.
Also hit the pause button on your goals and instead go for good habits. It will work counterproductive to push on any of your goals. If you really need something to do please consider the following: Write down a few things you want to do every day. In my case I knew meditating was helping me and I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I’m a type of person that really wants to feel ‘productive’ and since programming (coding) gave me satisfaction I made a list of these four things:
1. Meditate
2. Sleep for 8 hours
3. Programming
4. Be outside
Don’t worry about the progress, don’t think of your goals, just do your habits every day. It does not matter for how long or how much, just do each habit. Obviously make sure your habits are giving you a good feeling and contribute to your health. Be kind to yourself, there will be days that you will not be able to complete all your habits but over time you will see it will be surprising easy to complete your habits. Also be realistic, when you have severe burnout you might already be happy if you made yourself something to eat. If so; just make that one of your first ‘habits’.
Live in the moment
Be present. You might worry about the future or past, you might worry about “things” or upcoming appointments but what really matters is now. Some tips that might help you:
- When you are afraid that you forget to do something in the future put it in your agenda with an alarm so you can forget about it until you really need to think about it.
- Don’t fear future things. Read this: A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears – meaning: You are torturing yourself, its meaningless. Instead: Focus on what you can contribute to good things right now.
Provide structure
Creating habits can be a first step to create structure in your day. When it comes to sleep the best thing you can do is to go to bed on the same time, every day. Your body will adapt to the times of going to bed and you will feel more rested. Also it is good practice to eat at certain times so you won’t skip meals and eat enough. This will make sure you won’t have lower energy levels than needed.
Make sure you have no energy leaks
If you are very tired, it can be due to both physical and mental effort. Sometimes you are still making effort, unnecessary. You are caught in a hamster wheel. This happens when you keep repeating negative thoughts without taking the proper actions or letting go of the thought. Or in the case of physical effort, doing the effort while you need to rest. This is a so called energy leak.
Symptoms might be:
- Sadness
- Constant worrying
- Feeling stuck
- Frustration
- Undefined Anxiety
A few ways to cope with the leaks are:
- Learning to say no
- Prioritize your health
- Let go of addictions
- Meditate
Get some help around you
This might be the most important thing: Get help! In this situation it is really hard to think clearly. A coach can give you objective advise, set certain rules to make sure your body can recover and track progress with you.
Also, talk about it with friends and family. Keeping it too yourself will only harm you, not all people will understand your situation but most good friends will. This makes it easier to bear.
If you have any questions please use the comment section. I’m happy to help!